It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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