The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
