i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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