Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
