What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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