I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
even my farts smell like vagina
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
