Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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