When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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