am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
