i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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