i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
