What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
