I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
