I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
