I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
