You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
