Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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