Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
