You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
