Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
NoShamevember. You game?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
