just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
