Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Randomize
