i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
NoShamevember. You game?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
