just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
