dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my sisters under your porch take her home
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
