pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
