I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
