I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
