Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Are we still banned from the library?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My ass is underappreciated
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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