Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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