They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
