the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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