it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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