WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
