I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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