I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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