Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
