Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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