somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you win again, gameday.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
