we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
