no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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