If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
