just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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