I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
