Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Found your dick twin last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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