your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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