Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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