You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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