Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
