what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
