I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Panties = found
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