I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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