Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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