their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
