I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize