hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
