I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
