also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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