the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
