Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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