i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
