Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
