Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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