i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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