Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
