I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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