fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
